SoTU

[Xenu]

I need to rid myself of my dependence on foreign Ryan.

...

Ryan?

(I only saw bits and pieces, so I don't have too much to say, other than: it takes a lot of guts for the head of the intelligent design, the-jury's-still-out-on-global-warming, abstinence-education-works puffery to start lecturing others about the value of science education)

[lukpac]

http://www.thismodernworld.com/speech.html

[Rspaight]

This morning is insane. Later today, maybe. Tonight, for sure.

Ryan

[Rspaight]

Until then:



Ryan

[Bennett Cerf]

Hurry, Ryan. We need to stop animal-human hybrids before it's too late.

[Rspaight]

Part One: Foreign Policy (or, Fourth Verse, Same As The First)

Bush kicked off with a paragraph on Coretta Scott King. I'll bet he was *pissed* that he had to share the headlines this morning.

national mourning
tough
harden
anger
confront
strong
stronger
decisive
confidently
pursuing
enemies
freedom
retreat
isolationism
protectionism
danger
decline
protect
secure
control
destiny
tyranny
security
September 11th, 2001

(And... drink!)

failed and oppressive state
murder
destruction
Dictatorships
terrorists
resentment
radicalism
seek weapons of mass destruction
resentment
Democracies [...] respect the rights of their citizens

(Heh.)

fight
terror
freedom
safer
freedom
freedom
democracies
liberty
purple ink
freedom
justice
peace
freedom
freedom
rage
fight
radical Islam
perversion
ideology
terror
death
Terrorists
bin Laden
mass murder
heartless
totalitarian
weapons of mass murder
seize power in Iraq, and use it as a safe haven to launch attacks

(See http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0, ... 74,00.html for an interesting example of seizing power in Iraq, and using it as a safe haven to launch attacks.)

terrorists
weapon
fear
murder children
blow up commuters
behead a bound captive
terrorists
horrors
violent to inherit the earth
We love our freedom, and we will fight to keep it.

(In other words, we will defeat violence with... bigger violence.)

a time of testing
security
retreating
vicious attackers
battlefield
There is no peace in retreat. And there is no honor in retreat.
radical Islam
an assaulted world
enemies
retreat
surrender
evil
saved liberty in Europe
liberated death camps
raise up democracies
faced down an evil empire
deliver the oppressed
move this world toward peace
remain on the offensive
terror
killed
captured
their day will come
remain on the offensive
terror
on the offensive
clear plan for victory
old resentments will be eased
insurgency

(!!! -- Wow, "insurgency" instead of "terrorism"?)

fight corruption

(Well, over there at least.)

freedom
striking terrorist targets
enemy
freedom
work in Iraq is difficult
enemy
brutal
brutality
dictatorship
liberation
relentless
terrorist infiltration
insurgent strongholds
plan for victory
road of victory
take our troops home
responsible criticism
responsible criticism
defeatism
failure
second-guessing is not a strategy
candor
sudden withdrawal
death
prison
bin Laden and Zarqawi in charge
decisions and debates of the past
stand behind the American military in its vital mission
men and women in uniform are making sacrifices
fear
fight house-to-house in a maze of streets
wear heavy gear in the desert heat
comrade killed by a roadside bomb
killed
fighting
enemy
Falluja

(I thought we bombed Falluja into submission over a year ago.)

death
Never falter!
fallen
sacrifices
offensive
terror
defeat
terrorists
dark vision
hatred
fear
freedom
Raising up a democracy requires the rule of law

(But apparently rule of law isn't all that important here.)

protection of minorities

(titter)

strong, accountable institutions that last longer than a single vote

(guffaw)

radicalism.
the leaders of Hamas must recognize Israel, disarm, reject terrorism, and work for lasting peace

(We only support democratically elected governments when we like the outcome.)

liberty
liberty
Iran, a nation now held hostage by a small clerical elite

(giggle)

that is isolating and repressing its people

(snort)

regime
sponsors terrorists
defying the world with its nuclear ambitions
must not permit
regime
gain nuclear weapons
Let me speak directly to the citizens of Iran: America respects you, and we respect your country. We respect your right to choose your own future and win your own freedom. And our nation hopes one day to be the closest of friends with a free and democratic Iran.

(Wow, that was easy -- he only had to change one letter of his Iraq speeches.)

dangers
take the offensive
disease
Isolationism
fighting
enemies
helping our friends in desperate need

(like, say, Katrina victims?)

We show compassion abroad
poverty
corruption
despair
terrorism
organized crime
human trafficking
drug trade
unprecedented action to fight AIDS and malaria, expand the education of girls, and reward developing nations

(http://www.fpif.org/fpiftxt/171)

suffering
chaos
security
dull
remain on the offensive
terrorism
enemy
attack
law enforcement
homeland security
protecting
Patriot Act
September 11th

(drink!)

connect the dots
telephone calls to al Qaeda operatives overseas
prevent another attack
authority given to me
authorized
terrorist surveillance program
aggressively pursue
international communications
suspected al Qaeda operatives and affiliates
Previous presidents have used the same constitutional authority
federal courts have approved
authority
Appropriate members of Congress have been kept informed.
terrorist surveillance program
prevent terrorist attacks
security
al Qaeda
we want to know
we will not sit back and wait to be hit again.







disruption
terror
victory
freedom
dangerous
anxious
Roosevelt
Truman
Kennedy
Reagan rejected isolation and retreat

( http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,515039782,00.html )

secure
freedom is on the march
long war
enemy
war
defend
freedom

[Rspaight]

Part Two: Domestic Policy (or, Boring Stuff That Keeps Me From My War)

strengthening
healthy
vigorous
growing faster
performance that is the envy of the world

(Hmmmmm.)

pre-eminent
dynamic
uncertainty
fears
temptations
Protectionists
pretending that we can keep our high standard of living
centralizing more power in Washington

(Ahem.)

increasing taxes
immigrants are somehow bad for the economy
stagnant
second-rate
confidence
growing
grows
more of their own money to spend, save, and invest
tax relief
growth
massive tax increase
expansion
tax relief
responsibly
tax cuts
permanent.
good stewards of tax dollars
nonsecurity discretionary spending

( http://tinyurl.com/77nmw )

cut the deficit in half by 2009
pass the line-item veto

( http://www.csmonitor.com/2005/0816/p01s04-uspo.html )

confront
entitlements
staggering tax increases
immense deficits
deep cuts
Congress did not act last year on my proposal to save Social Security
So tonight, I ask you to join me in creating a commission

(Bold, decisive action.)

grow
orderly
secure
stronger
protection
guest worker program that [...] allows temporary jobs for people who seek them legally

(Translation: cheap legal labor!)

affordable health care
strengthen health savings accounts

(I thought this was supposed to be a big deal. But he just repeated boilerplate from previous speeches.)

addicted to oil

(Might as well face it.)

clean, safe nuclear energy
American Competitiveness Initiative
give our nation's children a firm grounding in math and science

(Except basic biology. The church should handle that one.)

double the federal commitment to [...] physical sciences

(Except if they don't agree with my political stands.)

tax credit
bolder private-sector investment
encourage children to take more math and science

(Except basic biology. The church should handle that one.)

and make sure those courses are rigorous enough to compete with other nations

(Except... oh, never mind.)

No Child Left Behind Act
train 70,000 high school teachers
bring 30,000 math and science professionals to teach

(nonsecurity discretionary spending)

freedom
prosperity
power
luxuries
hopeful
hopeful
violent crime
welfare
drug use
abortions
teenage mothers
a rising generation
welfare reform
drug education
abstinence
adoption
unethical conduct by public officials
activist courts that try to redefine marriage
children
doomed to unravel
Chief Justice John Roberts
Justice Sam Alito
hopeful
science
cut ethical corners
human cloning
creating or implanting embryos for experiments
creating human-animal hybrids

(MANIMAL!)

buying, selling, or patenting human embryos
a gift from our creator
hopeful
strengthen the ethical standards of Washington
hopeful
children
Laura Bush
stay in school
hopeful
$85 billion to the people of the Gulf Coast and New Orleans
schools
own a home
start a business
hopeful
half of all AIDS cases occur among African-Americans

(He seemed obsessed with AIDS and black people in this speech. Is it now a "black disease" instead of a "gay disease"?)

Ryan White Act
African-American churches and faith-based groups to deliver rapid HIV tests to millions
a great ideological conflict we did nothing to invite
God bless America.

[Rspaight]

[Rspaight]

http://fourcolorpolitics.blogspot.com/2 ... uttal.html

"Being popular is the most important thing in the world!"
-Homer J. Simpson

“Each time I am invited to this rostrum, I am humbled by the privilege, and mindful of the history we have seen together. We have gathered under this Capitol dome in moments of national mourning and national achievement. We have served America through one of the most consequential periods of our history — and it has been my honor to serve with you.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 31, 2006

"Bart, you're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing!"
-Homer J. Simpson

"Shut up, Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!"
-Homer J. Simpson

“In a system of two parties, two chambers, and two elected branches, there will always be differences and debate. But even tough debates can be conducted in a civil tone, and our differences cannot be allowed to harden into anger. To confront the great issues before us, we must act in a spirit of good will and respect for one another — and I will do my part.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 31, 2006

"That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"
-Homer J. Simpson

"I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t....I mean s-m-A-r-t."
-Homer J. Simpson

“Terrorists like bin Laden are serious about mass murder — and all of us must take their declared intentions seriously. They seek to impose a heartless system of totalitarian control throughout the Middle East, and arm themselves with weapons of mass murder. Their aim is to seize power in Iraq, and use it as a safe haven to launch attacks against America and the world. Lacking the military strength to challenge us directly, the terrorists have chosen the weapon of fear. When they murder children at a school in Beslan ... or blow up commuters in London ... or behead a bound captive ... the terrorists hope these horrors will break our will, allowing the violent to inherit the Earth.
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 31, 2006

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night."
-Homer J. Simpson

“By allowing radical Islam to work its will — by leaving an assaulted world to fend for itself - we would signal to all that we no longer believe in our own ideals, or even in our own courage. But our enemies and our friends can be certain: The United States will not retreat from the world, and we will never surrender to evil.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 31, 2006

"Lisa, stop that racket! I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy....I think I'll need a bigger drill."
-Homer J. Simpson

“We remain on the offensive against terror networks. We have killed or captured many of their leaders — and for the others, their day will come.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 31, 2006

"The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!!!"
-Homer J. Simpson

“Our work in Iraq is difficult, because our enemy is brutal. But that brutality has not stopped the dramatic progress of a new democracy. In less than three years, that nation has gone from dictatorship, to liberation, to sovereignty, to a constitution, to national elections. At the same time, our coalition has been relentless in shutting off terrorist infiltration, clearing out insurgent strongholds, and turning over territory to Iraqi security forces.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 31, 2006

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"
-Homer J. Simpson

“I am confident in our plan for victory ... I am confident in the will of the Iraqi people ... I am confident in the skill and spirit of our military. Fellow citizens, we are in this fight to win, and we are winning.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 31, 2006

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
-Homer J. Simpson

“So to prevent another attack — based on authority given to me by the Constitution and by statute — I have authorized a terrorist surveillance program to aggressively pursue the international communications of suspected al-Qaida operatives and affiliates to and from America.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 31, 2006

"Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own."
-Homer J. Simpson

“The Iranian government is defying the world with its nuclear ambitions — and the nations of the world must not permit the Iranian regime to gain nuclear weapons.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 31, 2006

"If this were really a nuclear war we'd all be dead meat by now."
-Homer J. Simpson

“We must also change how we power our automobiles. We will increase our research in better batteries for hybrid and electric cars, and in pollution-free cars that run on hydrogen. We will also fund additional research in cutting-edge methods of producing ethanol, not just from corn but from wood chips, stalks, or switch grass. Our goal is to make this new kind of ethanol practical and competitive within six years.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 31, 2006

"Uh, Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time. Just like that rainforest scare a few years back: our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?"
-Homer J. Simpson

“The Supreme Court now has two superb new members, Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Sam Alito. I thank the Senate for confirming both of them. And I will continue to nominate men and women who understand that judges must be servants of the law, and not legislate from the bench.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 31, 2006

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."
-Homer J. Simpson

“Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research – human cloning in all its forms … creating or implanting embryos for experiments … creating human-animal hybrids…”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 31, 2006

"I'll handle this... the only danger in space is if we land on the terrible Planet of the Apes... wait a minute. Statue of Liberty... THAT WAS OUR PLANET! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"
-Homer J. Simpson

"I guess you might say he barking up the wrong...bush."
-Homer J. Simpson

[Patrick M]

Appropriate members of Congress have been kept informed.

That's a gem.

[Patrick M]

creating human-animal hybrids