Let's Get Rich! Propose Your Audiophool Accoutrement Here!

Just what the name says.

Audiophools ought to be ...

Pitied
2
50%
Shot
0
No votes
Taken to the cleaners
2
50%
 
Total votes: 4

Kjoerup
Posts: 64
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2004 9:33 am

Let's Get Rich! Propose Your Audiophool Accoutrement Here!

Postby Kjoerup » Wed Feb 04, 2004 9:47 am

Idea: think of the silliest, stupidest, most irrational aid to the audiophile you can imagine. Lukpac forum members covertly spread the word throughout various audiophool forums on the internet. Example: "Dude at Audio Asylum/Steve Hoffman.tv! You mean you haven't yet tried the Euro Waveform Acoustamat mirror-encased rubber feet for upsampling DACs???! After 80 hours of burn-in these feet opened up the soundstage like you wouldn't believe! The light refraction from the meticulously engineered mirrored elements helps to resolve errors introduced by the sonic interference of the vibrating molecules in the rubber, resulting in wider soundstage, more natural and dynamic air and 90% less fatiguing sonics."

Et cetera and so on.

Meanwhile, we set up official company website replete with testimonials from hi-fi enthusiasts, spend 4 minutes a day slicing super balls in half and gluing little bits of mirror on them, charge $400 a slice and let the money roll in! Why should only idiots get rich?

Or something along those lines.

Use your imagination. Put your invention here! I'm sure I'll think of more.

User avatar
Rspaight
Posts: 4386
Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2003 10:48 am
Location: The Reality-Based Community
Contact:

Postby Rspaight » Wed Feb 04, 2004 10:12 am

How about "audiophile" sandpaper for "finishing" the edges of your CDs to prevent "laser scatter"? We should throw in a Sharpie and call it a "digital optic resolution tune-up kit." Then after a couple months we could change the box to read "now works with SACD and DVD-A hi-res!"

Ryan
RQOTW: "I'll make sure that our future is defined not by the letters ACLU, but by the letters USA." -- Mitt Romney

Kjoerup
Posts: 64
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2004 9:33 am

Postby Kjoerup » Wed Feb 04, 2004 10:42 am

And don't forget to raise the price accordingly. Remember, new tech = progress = higher prices! Also, thicker sandpaper for (dual-layered) hybrids (and accordingly higher price for higher-tech sandpaper).

Another invention, sticking with the mirror-theme (I'm fixated on that today, for some weird reason):

A round miror the same size and shape as a CD. You insert it in your SACD/CD/DVD-A player, let it spin. The specially engineered mirror surface "refocuses", "calibrates" and "tunes" the laser, a necessary procedure in order to counter the accumulative effects of "laser defocus" and "cumulative detuning" caused by playing untreated discs which have produced aforementioned "laser scatter". Think of the cross-marketing potential!

I call it the "Mirror Optic Refocuser". It costs $600 and is only good for 25 spins. Perhaps we could also market a "Mirror Optic Refocuser Revitalizer" cloth/polish kit to clean and revamp the Mirror Optic Refocuser for an additional 10 spins.

User avatar
krabapple
Posts: 1615
Joined: Wed Apr 16, 2003 4:19 pm

Postby krabapple » Wed Feb 04, 2004 10:57 am

Kjoerup wrote:And don't forget to raise the price accordingly. Remember, new tech = progress = higher prices! Also, thicker sandpaper for (dual-layered) hybrids (and accordingly higher price for higher-tech sandpaper).

Another invention, sticking with the mirror-theme (I'm fixated on that today, for some weird reason):

A round miror the same size and shape as a CD. You insert it in your SACD/CD/DVD-A player, let it spin. The specially engineered mirror surface "refocuses", "calibrates" and "tunes" the laser, a necessary procedure in order to counter the accumulative effects of "laser defocus" and "cumulative detuning" caused by playing untreated discs which have produced aforementioned "laser scatter". Think of the cross-marketing potential!

I call it the "Mirror Optic Refocuser". It costs $600 and is only good for 25 spins. Perhaps we could also market a "Mirror Optic Refocuser Revitalizer" cloth/polish kit to clean and revamp the Mirror Optic Refocuser for an additional 10 spins.


Excellent product idea. And when some naysayer questions its usefulness, make sure you're ready with the reply about how in 1983 everyone thought CD was PERFECT but TEN YEAR LATER we found out about JITTER which proves AUDIOPHILES WERE RIGHT and SCIENCE was WRONG.
"I recommend that you delete the Rancid Snakepit" - Grant

Kjoerup
Posts: 64
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2004 9:33 am

Postby Kjoerup » Wed Feb 04, 2004 11:08 am

I think it's high time that the old Mexican Jumping Bean concept was revived for the digital age - and, needless to say, aimed squarely at the audiophile market.

Imagine if you will a box - let's call it "The Jitter Bug" (catchy name, doncha think?) - that's connected 'twixt the outboard DAC and the amplifier. This box vibrates, jumps, gyrates and dances around - all necessary to shake the holy hell out of all that damn signal jitter once and for all!

User avatar
Xenu
Sellout
Posts: 2209
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 8:15 pm

Postby Xenu » Wed Feb 04, 2004 3:22 pm

MORE LIFE-LIKE HIGHS! BLANKET OFF SPEAKERS!

We should find a few black guys and offer to pay them $40,000 an hour to huddle around someone's speakers. Y'know, a "blacker background."
-------------
"Fuckin' Koreans" - Reno 911

Ron
Posts: 489
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2003 4:11 am
Location: Far Away From All You Fellas

Postby Ron » Wed Feb 04, 2004 5:42 pm

Tubed amps.
Dr. Ron :mrgreen:TM "Do it 'till you're sick of it. Do it 'till you can't do it no more." Jesse Winchester

Ron
Posts: 489
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2003 4:11 am
Location: Far Away From All You Fellas

Postby Ron » Wed Feb 04, 2004 5:47 pm

Ron wrote:Tubed amps.


Did I say that? I have a tubed amp. And think it's so wonderful [really] that not having one is kinda like using a dial-up modem for the Net. I'm a snob. I'm also an audiophile wannabe.
Dr. Ron :mrgreen:TM "Do it 'till you're sick of it. Do it 'till you can't do it no more." Jesse Winchester

User avatar
Grant
Posts: 486
Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2003 1:53 pm
Location: Arizona

Postby Grant » Wed Feb 04, 2004 8:00 pm

.
Last edited by Grant on Wed Feb 04, 2004 8:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Grant
Posts: 486
Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2003 1:53 pm
Location: Arizona

Postby Grant » Wed Feb 04, 2004 8:01 pm

Not all audiophiles are stupid. Audiophools, on the other hand, deserve to taken to the cleaners.

All audiophiles are, are people who take a serious interest in sound quality. Audiophools will spend ungodly amounts of money for questionable tweaks, or alter/ruin their gear and music for some percieved improvement.

There is, of course, the placebo effect, where, if someone thinks a tweak improves the sound, that tweak is valid.

Here's an example that SH used: If you had a grandmother who was dying of cancer and in extreme pain, and believed those sugar pills she took help alleviate some of the suffering, that would mean the pills have real value to your gramdmother, though they are useless. That's what tweaks are. If the pills work for her in her mind, why knock it? Are you going to be a cold, hard scientist type and tell her what those pills really are?

Most tweaks begin life based on some *tiny* fact or hypothesis. See, you can tell people till you're blue in the face about a scientific conclusion and logic, but if they don't want to believe it, you can't make them. You can't reason with them because your reason holds no water with them. It's kind of like when some black people who believe that they put drugs in Church's Chicken to steirilize blacks so they won't reproduce. You can't tell them that it is illogical to believe it, but they remember the Tuskeegee Experimnent of the 50s, so to them, it isn't such a far-fetched idea.

User avatar
Rspaight
Posts: 4386
Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2003 10:48 am
Location: The Reality-Based Community
Contact:

Postby Rspaight » Wed Feb 04, 2004 9:34 pm

Here's an example that SH used: If you had a grandmother who was dying of cancer and in extreme pain, and believed those sugar pills she took help alleviate some of the suffering, that would mean the pills have real value to your gramdmother, though they are useless. That's what tweaks are. If the pills work for her in her mind, why knock it? Are you going to be a cold, hard scientist type and tell her what those pills really are?


Heh. What Steve actually said was:

Just to play devil's advocate for a quick second. If your mother was dying of cancer and you bought her some pills that claimed they would make your Mom feel a whole lot better and they did, and then you found out they were sugar pills, would you sue the maker and tell your Mom so she could feel lousy again or what?


Which is a *little* different from what you said. If Grandma/Mom knew they were sugar pills and totally useless, but they made her feel better anyway, then yeah, I don't see the harm. If she was *sold* expensive medicine with purported scientific merit that turned out to be sugar pills, then that's a whole 'nother thing.

I'll say the same thing I said to Steve originally:

I'd buy sugar pills instead of the expensive fake medicine and give her those, and use the savings to get a lawyer to sue the drug maker. I'll tell Mom I found a generic equivalent.

The placebo effect is very real, and there's no reason to try to deny it. If people get enjoyment out of these dubious tweaks, that's great as long as they're not spending the rent money on them. It's the idea of spending $200+ for a placebo that bugs me.


The conversation went on from there, but I won't bother to repeat stuff. The point is, I don't get why people wouldn't *want* to know that they're wasting money. Maybe just get curious enough to look into it themselves and take a good hard look at the cost/benefit of some of this stuff. But, no, they get all defensive and insist they *like* paying through the nose for stuff that doesn't do a damn thing and if you don't agree, well it must be that your equipment isn't very good and who the HELL are you to dispute what they hear when we all know ears are more sensitive than any measurement device. And then the SH.tv mods jump on your case and remind you that it is forbidden to question subjectivist dogma.

Which is why so many of us are either exclusively or also here...

Ryan
RQOTW: "I'll make sure that our future is defined not by the letters ACLU, but by the letters USA." -- Mitt Romney

Ron
Posts: 489
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2003 4:11 am
Location: Far Away From All You Fellas

Postby Ron » Wed Feb 04, 2004 9:43 pm

Grant wrote:.


?
Dr. Ron :mrgreen:TM "Do it 'till you're sick of it. Do it 'till you can't do it no more." Jesse Winchester

User avatar
Rspaight
Posts: 4386
Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2003 10:48 am
Location: The Reality-Based Community
Contact:

Postby Rspaight » Wed Feb 04, 2004 9:50 pm

Ron wrote:
Grant wrote:.


?


!

Ryan
RQOTW: "I'll make sure that our future is defined not by the letters ACLU, but by the letters USA." -- Mitt Romney

User avatar
krabapple
Posts: 1615
Joined: Wed Apr 16, 2003 4:19 pm

Postby krabapple » Thu Feb 05, 2004 3:40 pm

The conversation went on from there, but I won't bother to repeat stuff. The point is, I don't get why people wouldn't *want* to know that they're wasting money. Maybe just get curious enough to look into it themselves and take a good hard look at the cost/benefit of some of this stuff.


Or failing that, at least have the cojones to admit, hey, this stuff could be *completely bogus* in terms of actual performance, even though I spent good money for it!

It's called intellectual honesty.


But, no, they get all defensive and insist they *like* paying through the nose for stuff that doesn't do a damn thing


I've never seen any of them admit *quite* that...it would be refreshing to see, though.
"I recommend that you delete the Rancid Snakepit" - Grant

User avatar
lukpac
Top Dog and Sellout
Posts: 4591
Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2003 11:51 pm
Location: Madison, WI
Contact:

Postby lukpac » Wed Jun 30, 2004 6:20 pm

This never went far, did it?

This is good, BTW:

http://www.snopes.com/music/media/marker.htm
"I know because it is impossible for a tape to hold the compression levels of these treble boosted MFSL's like Something/Anything. The metal particulate on the tape would shatter and all you'd hear is distortion if even that." - VD