Scientology: The Book Of Tom (Cruise, that is)

Let's talk about various types of religion.
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Xenu
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Postby Xenu » Wed Jul 27, 2005 2:50 pm

http://www.xenutv.com/radio/dst-071705.htm

John Carmichael sounds to me wayyy too much like Jerry Lewis. His subjects and verbs often don't agree.

Too bad xenutv no longer has up an absolutely mind-boggling clip in which Carmichael is allowed to spout for 4 segments or so...and then the instant a critic calls in greets her by saying "Hi there Stacy, you still sleepin' around with Bob there even though he's still married to his first wife?" What a piece of work.
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Postby Xenu » Wed Jul 27, 2005 3:08 pm

http://www.lukpac.org/~handmade/carmichael3.rm

That's the aforementioned clip from ~6 years ago. He had been shilling for Scientology for the two previous segments. Stacy Brooks calls in at around 3 minutes...his reaction is just priceless.

(it should be noted that the host in this clip is a total twit)

There's a hilarious part either in this part or in part 4 where he's forced to admit that the person he's accused of being "arrested" several times has never actually been convicted of anything. Lord, does he struggle. "Well, uh, he never went to JAIL" "well, uh, the police, uh" before finally letting up a squeaky "no."

(EDIT: change "3" to "4" for part four)
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Postby Bennett Cerf » Mon Mar 13, 2006 6:55 pm

Hayes Asks For Release From 'South Park'

March 13, 2006, 3:45 PM ET

Jonathan Cohen, N.Y.

Soul legend Isaac Hayes is in the midst of trying to obtain his release from the long-running Comedy Central series "South Park," on which he has voiced the character Chef since 1997.

In a statement, Hayes says he can no longer be a part of "South Park" due to "recent episodes and press that have embarked upon what he feels are inappropriate ridicule of religious communities." Although not mentioned by name, Hayes is likely referring to a controversial episode that skewers the Church of Scientology, of which he is a member.

"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins," Hayes says. "Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored. As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices."

As recently as last fall, when "South Park" was renewed by Comedy Central through 2008, Hayes had nothing but good things to say about the show. "I thought this would last maybe six weeks, I'd make a little easy money," he told Billboard.com in November. "Ten years later -- hello!"

In an interview with the Associated Press, "South Park" co-creator Matt Stone said he and partner Trey Parker "never heard a peep out of Isaac in any way until we did Scientology. He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin."

The 10th season of "South Park" premieres March 22.

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Xenu
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Postby Xenu » Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:11 pm

Matt Stone's retort in the AP piece makes me very happy.
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Postby Bennett Cerf » Fri Mar 17, 2006 11:59 am

Inside Move: 'South Park' feeling some celeb heat?
Cable net abruptly pulls repeat of Scientology episode


By MICHAEL FLEMING

The battle between "South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone and Scientology is escalating.

The dust-up gained steam last week when Isaac Hayes, a practicing Scientologist who has long been the voice of the character Chef, quit after objecting to a "South Park" episode called "Trapped in the Closet," which lampooned both the religion and Tom Cruise.

The skirmish continued this week, when Comedy Central abruptly pulled a repeat of that episode that was scheduled to air Wednesday evening. Showing instead was another memorable seg which featured Hayes's character, called "Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls."

Blog reports pegged the mysterious episode switch to objections raised by Cruise, who, the reports stated, threatened to not promote "Mission: Impossible 3," the summer tentpole for Viacom-owned Paramount.

A spokesman for Cruise denied that Cruise had ever made such a threat. "He never said any such thing about 'Mission: Impossible 3," the spokesman said.

While the "South Park" creators didn't directly comment on Comedy Central's decision to pull the episode, they issued an unusual statement to Daily Variety indicating the battle is not over.

"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!"

The duo signed the statement "Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu."

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Postby Bennett Cerf » Fri Mar 17, 2006 12:04 pm

Presumably when Cruise's spokesman says "he never said any such thing about Mission: Impossible 3," he means Cruise threatened never to promote another movie for Paramount, but didn't specifically mention Mission: Impossible 3.

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Postby lukpac » Fri Mar 17, 2006 12:32 pm

Bennett Cerf wrote:"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!"

The duo signed the statement "Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu."


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Postby Xenu » Fri Mar 17, 2006 1:22 pm

What? I'm technically brown, so "dark lord" works just fine.
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Postby Patrick M » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:40 pm

South Park gets revenge on Chef

South Park has exacted revenge on its former star Isaac Hayes by turning his character Chef into a paedophile and seemingly killing him off.

The opening episode of the 10th series, screened in the US on Wednesday, appeared to be a satire on Scientology.

Hayes, a Scientologist, quit the animated comedy after a different episode ridiculed the religion.

In the new show, Chef is brainwashed by the "Super Adventure Club" - thought to be a veiled reference to Scientology.

The other characters are angry at "that fruity little club for scrambling his brains".

Patched together

Hayes did not participate in the episode but his lines were apparently patched together from previous recordings.

Chef arrives after travelling the world with the Super Adventure Club and repeatedly tells the children he wants to "make sweet love" to them.

The children take him to a psychiatrist and then a strip club, where he remembers his love for women and is cured.

But he is brainwashed by the Super Adventure Club again - before falling off a bridge and being burned, stabbed and mauled by a lion and a grizzly bear.

'Hurt and confused'

At his funeral, one of the children says: "A lot of us don't agree with the choices the Chef has made in the last few days.

"Some of us feel hurt and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us.

"But we can't let the events of the past few weeks take away the memories of how Chef made us smile."

Soul singer Hayes recently announced he had left the show because of its "intolerance and bigotry toward religious beliefs".

But co-creator Matt Stone said: "In 10 years and over 150 episodes of South Park, Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslim, Mormons or Jews.

"He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show."

US TV network Comedy Central then pulled a different episode, which mocked Tom Cruise and more explicitly lampooned Scientology.

That prompted rumours that Cruise had demanded that the episode be dropped, which were denied by his representatives.

Hayes, 63, was admitted to hospital with exhaustion in January.
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Postby Beatlesfan03 » Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:08 pm

And though I don't have a link handy, I think Fox is reporting that Hayes isn't in a position to quit anything as he had a stroke and is not suffering from exhaustion.
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Postby Patrick M » Mon Apr 10, 2006 6:50 pm

Chuck thinks that I look to good to be a computer geek. I think that I know too much about interface design, css, xhtml, php, asp, perl, and ia (too name a few things) to not be one.

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Postby Rspaight » Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:39 pm

In case Xen hasn't seen this yet...

http://defamer.com/344987/the-tom-cruis ... you-to-see
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Postby Xenu » Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:55 pm

There's a fun new one out there featuring David Miscavige talking about how we're gonna BLOW UP psychiatry real good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfu7Sr50N7U

It's astonishing how much DM's verbiage sounds like the "Rocket McGrane" novels from that one episode of Millennium.
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Postby lukpac » Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:58 pm

Xenu wrote:There's a fun new one out there featuring David Miscavige talking about how we're gonna BLOW UP psychiatry real good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfu7Sr50N7U

It's astonishing how much DM's verbiage sounds like the "Rocket McGrane" novels from that one episode of Millennium.


It's like I'm watching some bizarre parody on The Simpsons or South Park or something.
"I know because it is impossible for a tape to hold the compression levels of these treble boosted MFSL's like Something/Anything. The metal particulate on the tape would shatter and all you'd hear is distortion if even that." - VD