The Beach Boys - The Shitty Years (or: a Welfare Story)

Want to review the latest CD reissue? Or a 30 year old LP you just picked up? Discuss it all here.
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Postby Crummy Old Label Avatar » Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:48 pm

Smiley Smile is the only Beach Boys record I can tolerate. I much prefer it over the bloated production and arrangements of the infantile whinefest known as Pet Sounds and the overreaching pompous twaddle that is (or would've been) Smile.

Wild Honey: Who cares. The young male cast members of Little House on the Prairie attempt to sing "darkie music". Why did it take 4 of them to write something as incompetent as "How She Boogalooed It"? Why do I know that?

Friends: Your dentist "gets" the Maharishi. Mom finally took a hit of Mary Jane. Remember when Mr. Brady went all groovy and got a perm and sideburns? This album may as well have soundtracked it all. Fans of this record would be heartened to know that the Carpenters debut is just around the corner.

20/20: "Cabinessence" (except for that stupid Grand Coulee Dam coda) and the Manson song are the only listenable things here.

Sunflower: Dumb title, scary cover. Mike Love is dressed as an anorexic Indian guru charlatan. Children -- dirty hippie children! -- are posed on this cover! One look at this thing in the bargain bin ought to tell you to steer well clear. You have to wait another year or two to get a second album sleeve this bad, when you pick up Who Came First in the bargain bin, open up the gatefold and read the legend "Don't worry, be happy!" as if it were the most mindblowing bit of heavy philosophy that Townshend had ever encountered. (Jeez, compared to Meher Baba, the Maharashi seems almost erudite, which must make Mike Love about 2 points smarter than Townshend. Imagine that.)

But still you guys insist, don't you? You could've bought a copy of Funhouse instead. Every song on here makes me wish everyone on this record was dead. Most of them now are, I suppose. Someday the rest will be. Don't worry about it; just be happy, m'kay? WHY WOULD ANYONE LISTEN TO THIS????

Surf's Up: Michael Medved toe-tapping music. "Disney Girls" personifies everything I hate about the Beach Boys: adherence to regressive, conservative values, fake nostalgia for a world that's never been, etc. "Disney Girls" is soporific, well-ahead-of-the-game Reaganite/Christian Coalition "family values" shite for, well, SHites, I guess.

Holland: Is it my imagination or is every track on here a 6 hour dirge? This is dreary stuff, probably as bad as those Moody Blues solo albums that used to litter the bargain bins when I was a kid. As did this record. Music fans are advised to confirm the "genius" status of retarded composer Brian Wilson by listening to the bonus record.

Carl & the Passions: You guys are lying. No one has ever bought this record; no one has ever heard it. I don't believe you.

The Who: Really, now. They were a third-rate Beat Boom band, at best. Not as good as the Syndicats, maybe marginally better than the Snobs. Couldn't hold a candle to the Riot Squad. Ian Stewart was right when he said that the Who featured the worst rhythm section in all of Britain. The Who had already blown it by the time they started putting out overblown fakery like "A Quick One" and "I Can See For Miles". If forced I could listen to "Bucket T" -- but not any of that Tommy Bobby Jimmy (detect a pattern there?) Baba Be Happy Spinal Tap fodder.
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Postby Xenu » Sat Mar 04, 2006 5:41 pm

I can't tell whether you're being serious or facetious.

I wrote this thread from the following perspective: while "shitty era" albums aren't great, they're often a lot better than I expect them to be. What I discovered with the Beach Boys is that the supposed *mis*conception of Brian being the only major group talent...well, isn't really. I like Friends through Sunflower, but the descent afterwards is pretty steep.

I used to see a lot of people complain about Endless Summer and its aftermath, railing against how the comp made the BBs abandon any shred of originality and embrace...err, whatever 15 Big Ones is, I guess. The problem with that is it assumes that a) they were being original, and b) that what came before was preferrable to what came after. Yes, the image as America's Oldies Band is a bit of a curse, but I prefer "Love You," dreck and all, to "Carl," "Holland," and most of "Surf's Up."

All IMO, of course.
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Postby Andreas » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:39 am

Sunflower: Dumb title, scary cover. Mike Love is dressed as an anorexic Indian guru charlatan. Children -- dirty hippie children! -- are posed on this cover! One look at this thing in the bargain bin ought to tell you to steer well clear.

I take it that you haven't heard the album.

Surf's Up: Michael Medved toe-tapping music. "Disney Girls" personifies everything I hate about the Beach Boys: adherence to regressive, conservative values, fake nostalgia for a world that's never been, etc. "Disney Girls" is soporific, well-ahead-of-the-game Reaganite/Christian Coalition "family values" shite for, well, SHites, I guess.

Ahem...Disney Girls is essentially a Bruce Johnston solo song. And not really representative for the album, which is a mess. (There are much worse songs than Disney Girls on this album, but then again, you might prefer Student Demonstration In Cell Block #9)

Carl & the Passions: You guys are lying. No one has ever bought this record; no one has ever heard it. I don't believe you.

I take it that you haven't heard the album.

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Postby Crummy Old Label Avatar » Sun Mar 19, 2006 9:35 pm

I really have to parse this?!

Andreas wrote:
COLA wrote:Sunflower: Dumb title, scary cover. Mike Love is dressed as an anorexic Indian guru charlatan. Children -- dirty hippie children! -- are posed on this cover! One look at this thing in the bargain bin ought to tell you to steer well clear.

I take it that you haven't heard the album.


I've heard it far too much, I'm sorry to say. Wanna debate the merits of, say, "At My Window" or "Forever"? Yeah? Me neither.

Andreas wrote:
COLA wrote:Surf's Up: Michael Medved toe-tapping music. "Disney Girls" personifies everything I hate about the Beach Boys: adherence to regressive, conservative values, fake nostalgia for a world that's never been, etc. "Disney Girls" is soporific, well-ahead-of-the-game Reaganite/Christian Coalition "family values" shite for, well, SHites, I guess.

Ahem...Disney Girls is essentially a Bruce Johnston solo song. And not really representative for the album, which is a mess. (There are much worse songs than Disney Girls on this album, but then again, you might prefer Student Demonstration In Cell Block #9)


Couldn't care less about hair-splitting over what is "essentially a solo song" or not. You may as well state that Pet Sounds is essentially a Brian Wilson solo record. "Disney Girls" is on Surf's Up. Moreover, it's a terrible song, and its world-view fits in quite snugly with the conservative hippie attitude expressed on the remainder of the record.

Every song on the album is pretty bad; I just find this one the most blatantly repellent. The Al Jardine paean to foot-care is a close second.

Andreas wrote:
COLA wrote:Carl & the Passions: You guys are lying. No one has ever bought this record; no one has ever heard it. I don't believe you.

I take it that you haven't heard the album.


Heard it -- and wouldn't listen again to the likes if "He Come Down" or "Cuddle Up" if you paid me Brian Wilson's weight in heroin.

Andreas, I used to think that you're stonefaced humorlessness was a terrific act. Now I really have to wonder if you truly are the dourest poater on the Internets.
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Postby MK » Mon Mar 20, 2006 12:53 am

I haven't heard everything on "So Tough," but then again, when you encounter a train wreck, you don't need to see everything to know it's bad.

"Marcella" is okay, representative of everything good and bad about post-Capitol Beach Boys. I actually ended my own Beach Boys comp with that song, the only inclusion from "So Tough." Everything after that, I'd rather do without.
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Postby Andreas » Mon Mar 20, 2006 1:10 am

Crummy Old Label Avatar wrote:Andreas, I used to think that you're stonefaced humorlessness was a terrific act. Now I really have to wonder if you truly are the dourest poater on the Internets.


I guess I have to disappoint you. My love for the Beach Boys is true. Two songs that you mentioned, Forever and Cuddle Up, are magnificent compositions and productions. Especially Forever, which has maybe the best vocal arrangement of any Beach Boys song after 1966. Check out the vocal mix on Hawthorne, CA.

The "Pet Sounds is a BW solo album" line is tiring. No, it's not. Al came up with the idea to record Sloop John B. That's Not Me is played by the band (except some overdubs). Al, Carl and Mike have lead vocals. The background vocals are crucial for the album. Brian wrote it for his band, not for himself. (You might as well call Tommy a Pete Townshend solo album.)

Why am I writing this? Do I need to defend this band? No, but you are always implying that your opinions are rational observations, and anybody that disagrees is mentally disturbed. David had an interesting point in this thread: Career phases of famous groups that are usually written off by critics can provide some treasures on the same artistic level as their most celebrated releases. The recognization of them is purely subjective and has to do with how you tolerate the weaknesses of the band members. If you only like the band when everyhting is perfectly performed and produced at the height of (drug-induced) inspiration, then you are overlooking some great music.

I would like to ask you to listen to the song "This Whole World" and compare it to your favorite Beach Boys songs.

I bet you don't like any McCartney solo album, either?

PS: I am a humorous guy, and I find most of your writings entertaining. In my responses to you, I am aware of your satirical style which is based on badmouthing every easy target in a seemingly ignorant way. But I still don't know if you really have listened to Sunflower or So Tough, in an open-minded attempt to appreciate the music, or if you have just assumed the position of the bored, annoyed, lazy critic who has formed his superficial resumee within a few seconds.

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Postby czeskleba » Mon Mar 20, 2006 9:35 pm

COLA... so you think the Beach Boys suck. Then why have you bothered to listen to their shit years albums enough times to have detailed, informed opinions about how and why they suck? What's that about? Masochism? Or are you a lapsed fan now seeking to deprogram others?

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Postby Crummy Old Label Avatar » Mon Mar 20, 2006 11:28 pm

czeskleba wrote:COLA... so you think the Beach Boys suck. Then why have you bothered to listen to their shit years albums enough times to have detailed, informed opinions about how and why they suck? What's that about? Masochism? Or are you a lapsed fan now seeking to deprogram others?


You may also be shocked to know that my advanced degree centered around medieval philosophy, and that I know my theological texts inside and out -- despite being a lifelong atheist. I've also seen every episode of The Brady Bunch without ever really trying to, or even enjoying the experience. Moreover, I've even read Hitler's Mein Kampf and, get this, didn't agree with a single word of it.

Or maybe I conceived this diabolical plot as a kid perusing the bargain bins. "Yes, that it!" said my young self of 1978, "I'll buy these remaindered records for a buck apiece, familiarize myself with their contents, and then won't it be funny that I'll be fully armed in order to trip up Czeskleba in the year 2006!" (Because, young sage that I was, I had the wisdom and foresight to know that the World of Tomorrow would more than likely revolve around you and your hyper-defensive Beach Boys fandom, you see.)
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Postby czeskleba » Tue Mar 21, 2006 12:54 am

Hey, I was just asking. You're inferring defensiveness where none was intended. I truly don't care if you (or anyone else) likes those Beach Boys records, and I don't like much of them myself as I posted earlier in the thread. In general I enjoy the exchange of opinions but have no investment in getting others to agree with my taste in anything, especially not music.

Regarding your analogy... I would not equate repeated listening to records you don't like with studying a religion you don't believe in. It seems to me that listening to records you dislike is more analogous to worshipping at a church you don't believe in.

Forgetting about the Beach Boys... you watched every episode of the Brady Bunch? Why? Seriously, what was the context? I'm genuinely curious.

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Postby Crummy Old Label Avatar » Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:39 am

czeskleba wrote:Forgetting about the Beach Boys... you watched every episode of the Brady Bunch? Why? Seriously, what was the context? I'm genuinely curious.


I bet drugs had something to do with it. That's my theory anyway.
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Postby GoogaMooga » Wed Jul 26, 2006 4:10 am

Wow... I take it you guys don't care much for The Beach Boys. It's been fashionable to knock this the greatest band ever since at least '67 when they chickened out of the Monterey Pop Festival and became perceived as "surfing Doris Day's". IMO, The Beach Boys have only recorded one crummy album, the Brian Wilson-less swan song, Summer in Paradise, which sold about three copies and only contains one good song, the title song.

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Postby Xenu » Wed Jul 26, 2006 6:17 am

Who needs fashion when you have "Carl and the Passions?"
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Postby MK » Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:06 pm

I didn't realize good taste was fashionable. Seriously, how else do you explain American Idol?
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