(Modern) Country music sucks

Just what the name says.
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Patrick M
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(Modern) Country music sucks

Postby Patrick M » Fri Oct 24, 2003 1:21 am

There I said it.

When going to the gym, I am forced to listen to this godawful Lexington country music station because, well, that's what they play. I even asked about it today, and they assured me they only received two channels. Both are country. Pick your poison.

[Note: while searching for the 98.1 website, I noticed that Sacramento also has a station called "the bull" and it's also at 98.1 and it just happens to be at kbul.com. Whoda thunk it? I'm glad we have fine companies like ClearChannel to make sure the country is as homogenous as possible.]

Of course, this station plays the same crap over and over and over. So every day I get to hear the same three songs that piss me off to no end.

Selection #1:

Tough Little Boys by Gary Allan

I never once, backed down from a punch.
I'd take it square on the chin.
Well I found out fast a bully's just that
And you got to stand up to him.

So I didn't cry when I got a black eye
As bad as it hurt I just grinned.
But when tough little boys grow up to be Dads
They turn into big babies again.

Scared me to death when took your first steps,
Well I'd fall everytime you fell down.
Your first day of school, I cried like a fool,
And I followed your school bus to town.

Well I didn't cry when ol Yeller died
At least not in front of my friends.
But when tough little boys grow up to be
Dads they turn into big babies again.

Well I'm a grown man but as strong as I am.
Well sometimes it's hard to believe,
One little girl with little blonde curls
Can totally terrify me.

If you were to ask my wife would just laugh ,
She'd say I know all about men.
How tough little boys grow up to be Dads
They turn into big babies again.

Well I know one day I'll give you away
And I'm gonna stand there and smile.
When I get home and I'm all alone,
I'll sit in your room for awhile.

Well I didn't cry when ol Yeller died
At least not in front of my friends.
But when tough little boys grow up to be
Dads they turn into big babies again.
When tough little boys grow up to be
Dads they turn into big babies again.


Refer to this horrible webpage for sound and animation, if you dare:

http://www.minibite.com/parenthood/toughlittleboys.htm

Selection #2:

Walk A Little Straighter Daddy by Billy Currington

I remember looking up
To look up to him
And I remember most the time
He wasn’t there
I’d be waiting at the door
When he got home at night
He’d pass me by to go to pass out in his chair

And I’d say
Walk a little straighter daddy
You’re swaying side to side
You’re footsteps make me dizzy
And no matter how I try
I keep tripping and stumbling
If you’d look down here you’d see
Walk a little straighter daddy
You’re leading me

He stumbled in the gym
On graduation day
And I couldn’t help but feel
So ashamed
And I wasn’t surprised a bit
When he didn’t stay
He stumbled out before they called my name

And I thought
Walk a little straighter daddy
You’re swaying side to side
It’s not just me who’s watching
you’ve caught everybody’s eye
And you’re tripping and stumbling
and even though I’ve turned 18
Walk a little straighter daddy
You’re still leading me

The old mans still like he always was
But I love him anyway
If I’ve learned one thing from him
Its my kids will never have to say

Walk a little straighter daddy
You’re swaying side to side
You’re footsteps make me dizzy
And no matter how I try
I keep tripping and stumbling
if you’d look down here you’d see
Walk a little straighter daddy
You’re leading me

Yeah walk a little straighter daddy
You’re leading me


http://www.minibite.com/serious/walk.htm

Selection #3:

It's 5 O'clock Somewhere by Alan Jackson with Jimmy Buffett

Alan sings:
The sun is hot and that old clock,
is movin' slow, and so am I.
Work day passes like molasses,
in winter time, but it's July.

Getting paid by the hour,
and older by the minute.
My boss just pushed me,
over the limit.


I could call him something,
think ~I'll just call it a day.~


Chorus:
Pour me something tall and strong.
Make it a hurricane,
before I go insane.


It's only half past twelve.
But I don't care,
it's five o'clock somewhere.

This lunch break is gonna take
all afternoon, half the night.
Tomorrow morning I know there'll be
h-e-l-l to pay, but hey that's all right.


I ain't had a day off now, in over a year.
My Jamaican vacation's gonna start right here.


If the phone's for me
you can tell them~ I just sailed away.~

Chorus:

Pour me something tall and strong.
Make it a hurricane,
before I go insane.


It's only half past twelve.
But I don't care,
it's five o'clock somewhere.

Instrumental...

I could pay off my tab, pour myself
in a cab, and be back to work before two.
At a moment like this, I can't help
but wonder, what would Jimmy Buffett do.


Jimmy sings:

Funny you should ask Alan, I'd say
Pour me something tall and strong.
Make it a hurricane,
before I go insane.

It's only half past twelve,
but I don't care.

Both sing;


Chorus;

Pour me something tall & strong
Make it a hurricane,
before I go insane.

It's only half past twelve,
but I don't care.

Alan sings;
but he don't care, I don't care.

Both sing;
It's five o'clock somewhere.

Dialog begins:

Jimmy: What time zone am I on? What country am I in?
Alan: It doesn't matter, it's five o'clock somewhere.
Jimmy: It's always on time for Margaritaville. Come to think of it.
Alan: I heard that.
Jimmy: You've been there haven't ya?
Alan: Yes sir!
Jimmy: I've seen your boat there.
Alan: I've been to Margaritaville a few times.
Jimmy: Alright, that's good.
Alan: Stumbled on my way back.
Jimmy: Okay, well I just want to make sure you keep it between the navigational beacons.
Alan: deep sultry laugh hahaha! Keep it between the bouys. I got it!
Jimmy: Alright, well it's five o'clock. Let's go somewhere.
Alan: I'm ready. Crank it up!
Jimmy: Let's get out of here.
Alan: I'm gone!


Now I ask:

Why do people listen to this shit?

BTW, I realize there may decent modern country artists out there. I don't know any. This is what's on the radio. I therefore assume it's popular. What's the explanation? Is the country 75% redneck or what? This crap is horrible.

Side note - on the drive to Lexington, I turned on 98.1 just to see if these songs would creep up again. Sure enough, when I turned the radio on, I got the Alan Jackson. Within two songs, I got "Tough Little Boys." Before I could even make it to downtown Lexington (around an hour), they played "Tough Little Boys" again. Great, I got to hear it 3x today.

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Xenu
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Postby Xenu » Fri Oct 24, 2003 7:54 am

I was caught in a Coconuts (which had recently acquired a surprisingly-decent used CD section) when they were playing their "new country releases" CD...in grand contrast to the "new songs about asses" disc they're usually spinning.

The one that *really* pissed me off was by Tracey Byrd (who deserves to die for showing up in my Byrds searching anyway). The lyrics to "The Truth About Men"

We don't like to go out shoppin',
We don't care what's on sale.
We just want to sit with a bag full of chips,
Watchin' the NFL.
When you come over at half-time,
An' say: "Does this dress fit too tight?"
We just look you in the eye with a big fat lie,
An say:"Uh, uh: Looks just right."

Well, that's the truth about men.
Yeah, that's the truth about us.
We like to hunt and golf on our days off,
Scratch, an' spit, an cuss.
It don't matter what line we hand you,
When we come draggin' in.
We ain't wrong; we ain't sorry,
An' it's probably gonna happen again.

We hate watchin' "Steel Magnolias".
We like "Rambo" an' "Die Hard 4".
Jump up and down like fools when we see the new tools,
At the Home Depot store.
We don't really wanna take you to dinner,
At some fancy restaurant.
The only reason we do is 'cause we know it leads to,
The one thing that we all want.

Well, that's the truth about men.
Yeah, that's the truth about guys.
We'd rather play guitars and work on cars,
Than work on the problems in our lives.
An' though we might say it to you,
Every now and then,
We ain't wrong; we ain't sorry,
An' it's probably gonna happen again.

Well, if you want to know what we're all thinkin',
It's nothing too complex.
It's just somethin' cold for drinkin',
And a whole lot of s-e......

Yes, that's the truth about men.
Yeah, that's the truth about us.
We like to hunt and golf an' drive around, lost,
Scratch, an' spit, an' a whole lot of other disgustin' stuff.
It don't matter what line we hand you,
When we come a-crawlin' in.
We ain't wrong; we ain't sorry,
An' it's probably gonna happen again.

We ain't wrong; we ain't sorry,
An' it's probably gonna happen;
Sure, it's gonna happen;
You know it's gonna happen again.
An' that's the truth about men.

You know it, son.

(Tell 'em how it is Tracy!)
-------------
"Fuckin' Koreans" - Reno 911

mikenycLI
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Postby mikenycLI » Fri Oct 24, 2003 8:17 am

ANYONE pick up the Johnny Cash 5 CD "American" outtake collection ????

Thanks for sharing.

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Postby Rspaight » Fri Oct 24, 2003 9:02 am

Oh, I'm gonna get the Cash (for a lot of Cash, no doubt) when it comes out in November. Can't wait.

Interesting that there seems to be a flood of treacly daddyhood songs. I guess we can blame that abysmal "Butterfly Kisses" thing for that.

I heard this heart-wrenching country song while eating in Wendy's the other day:

Artist/Band: Rhett Akins
Song Lyrics: That Ain't My Truck

She's been goin' out with him
She's been goin' out with me
Said she'd let us know by tonight
Which one it would be
So I waited by the phone
But she never called me up
Had to know what was goin' on
So, I drove by her house -- and sure enough

That ain't my truck in her drive
Man this ain't my day tonight
Looks like she's in love and I'm out of luck
That ain't my shadow on her wall
Lord this don't look good at all
That's my girl -- my whole world
But that ain't my truck

I pulled over by the curb
I've been sittin' here all night
Wonderin' what it was I did so wrong
That he did so right
I've thought of breakin' down her door
But there's nothin' left to say
That chevy four-by-four
Says it all sittin' in my place

That ain't my truck in her drive
Man this ain't my day tonight
Looks like she's in love and I'm out of luck
That ain't my shadow on her wall
Lord this don't look good at all
That's my girl -- my whole world
But that ain't my truck

That ain't my shadow on her wall
Lord this don't look good at all
That's my girl -- my whole world
But that ain't my truck
That's my girl -- my whole world
But that ain't my truck


I nearly choked on my Classic Double.

Ryan
RQOTW: "I'll make sure that our future is defined not by the letters ACLU, but by the letters USA." -- Mitt Romney

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lukpac
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Postby lukpac » Fri Oct 24, 2003 11:46 am

Xenu wrote:We like "Rambo" an' "Die Hard 4".


Apparently rednecks like movies that haven't been filmed yet.
"I know because it is impossible for a tape to hold the compression levels of these treble boosted MFSL's like Something/Anything. The metal particulate on the tape would shatter and all you'd hear is distortion if even that." - VD

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Patrick M
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Postby Patrick M » Sun Apr 04, 2004 7:36 pm

It's time to revisit and update this classic thread. I have managed to track down a song I am subjected to on a daily basis. And boy does it suck.

"Little Moments" by Brad Paisley

Well I'll never forget the first time that I heard
That pretty mouth say that dirty word
And I can't even remember now
What she backed my truck into
But she covered her mouth and her face got red
And she just looked so darn cute
That I couldn't even act like I was mad
Yeah I live for little moments like that

That's like just last year on my birthday
She lost all track of time and burnt the cake
And every smoke detector in the house was going off
She was just about to cry until I took her in my arms
And I tried not to let her see me laugh
Yeah I live for little moments like that

I know she's not perfect
But she tries so hard for me
And I thank God that she isn't
Cause how boring would that be
It's the little imperfections
It's the sudden change of plans
When she misreads the directions
And we're lost but holding hands
Yeah I live for little moments like that

When she's laying on my shoulder
On the sofa in the dark
And about the time she falls asleep
So does my right arm
And I want so bad to move it
Because it's tingling and it's numb
She looks so much like an angel
That I don't want to wake her up
Yeah I live for little moments

When she steals my heart again and doesn't even know it
Yeah I live for little moments like that

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Patrick M
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Postby Patrick M » Sun Apr 04, 2004 7:40 pm

Here's another:

"Three Wooden Crosses" by Randy Travis

A farmer and a teacher
A hooker and a preacher
Riding on a midnight bus
Bound for Mexico
One was heading for vacation
One for higher education
And two of them were searching for lost souls

That driver never ever saw the stop sign
And 18 wheelers can't stop on a dime

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway
Why there's not four of them heaven only knows
I guess it's not what you take
When you leave this world behind you
It's what you leave behind you when you go

That farmer left a harvest
A home and 80 acres
The faith and love for growing things
In his young son's heart

And that teacher left her wisdom
In the minds of lots of children
Did her best to give 'em all
A better start

And that preacher whispered
"Can't you see the promised land?"
As he lay his blood stained Bible
In that hooker's hand

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway
Why there's not four of them heaven only knows
I guess it's not what you take
When you leave this world behind you
It's what you leave behind you when you go

That's the story that our preacher told last Sunday
As he held that blood stained Bible up
For all of us to see
He said, "Bless the farmer
And the teacher
And the preacher
Who gave this Bible to my momma
Who read it to me"

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway
Why there's not four of them now I guess we know
It's not what you take
When you leave this world behind you
It's what you leave behind you when you go

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway......

britre
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How About This one

Postby britre » Mon Apr 05, 2004 6:39 pm

Bake Me A Honey ham
by Tracy Lawrence


He was sittin’ there, his brush in hand
Bakin’ waves as they danced, upon the sand
With every stroke, he brought to life
The deep blue of the ocean, against the mornin’ sky
I asked him if he only painted ocean scenes
He said for twenty dollars, I’ll bake you anything.

Chorus:

Well could you bake Me A Honey ham
Make it look just the way I planned
A little house on the edge of town
Porch goin’ all the way around
Put her there in the front yard swing
Cotton dress make it, early spring
For awhile she’ll be, mine again
If you can bake Me A Honey ham.

He looked at me, with knowing eyes
Then took a canvas from a bag there by his side
Picked up a brush, and said to me
Son just in this picture, would you like to me
I said if there’s any way you can
Could you paint me back into her arms again.

Bake Me A Honey ham
Make it look just the way I planned
A little house on the edge of town
Porch goin’ all the way around
Put her there in the front yard swing
Cotton dress make it, early spring
For awhile she’ll be, mine again
If you can Make Me A Honey ham.

Put her there in the front yard swing
Cotton dress make it, early spring
For awhile she’ll be, mine again
If you can Bake Me A, Honey ham.

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Patrick M
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Postby Patrick M » Tue Apr 06, 2004 8:12 pm

I should point out that when I say a song is "by" someone, I mean that person sings it. Here's another classic I've heard a billion times.

Artist: Mark Wills
Song: 19 Somethin'

Oh yeah.

I saw Star Wars at least eight times,
Had the Pac Man pattern memorized.
And I've seen the stuff they put inside Stretch Armstrong, yeah.
Oh, I was Roger Staubach in my backyard,
Had a shoebox full of baseball cards,
And a couple of Evil Knievil scars on my right arm.
Well, I was a kid when Elvis died.
An' my momma cried:

Well, it was nineteen-seventy-something,
In the world that I grew up in.
Farah Fawcett hair-do days,
Bell bottoms and eight-track tapes.
Lookin' back now I can see me.
Oh man, did I look cheesy.
But I wouldn't trade those days for nothin':
Oh, it was nineteen-seventy-something.

It was the dawning of a new decade,
We got our first microwave,
Dad broke down and finally shaved them old sideburns off.
I took the stickers off a-my Rubik's cube.
Watched MTV all afternoon.
My first love was Daisy Duke in them cut-off jeans.
Space shuttle fell out of the sky.
And the whole world cried.

Well, it was nineteen-eighty-something,
In the world that I grew up in.
Skatin' rinks and black Trans-Ams.
Big hair and parachute pants.
An' lookin' back now I can see me.
Oh man, did I look cheesy.
I wouldn't trade those days for nothin':
Oh, it was nineteen-eighty-something.

Now I got a mortgage and an SUV,
But all this responsibility,
Makes me wish sometimes:

It was nineteen-eighty-something,
In the world that I grew up in.
Skatin' rinks and black Trans-Ams.
Big hair and parachute pants.
An' lookin' back now I can see me.
Oh man, did I look cheesy.
I wouldn't trade those days for nothin':
Oh, it was nineteen-eighty-something.

Nineteen-seventy-something.
Oh, it was nineteen something.

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Grant
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Postby Grant » Sat Apr 10, 2004 6:12 pm

The truth about men IS the truth! :lol:

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lukpac
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Postby lukpac » Wed Oct 20, 2004 12:52 pm

Honky-tonk politics

Doug Erickson Wisconsin State Journal
October 20, 2004
Turn on a country music radio station, and you might think you're listening to the soundtrack of the Republican Party.

Charlie Daniels sings "these colors don't run." Darryl Worley warns you not to forget the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11. Toby Keith wants to stick a boot in the backside of anybody who does this country wrong.

But country music's hard turn to the right is a relatively recent development that doesn't reflect the genre's diverse roots, according to music historian Bill Malone.

Liberal acts such as the Dixie Chicks that question authority wouldn't have seemed so unusual in the 1930s, when country artists sometimes mocked President Herbert Hoover, criticized police officers and railed against capitalism, said Malone, who spoke at a forum Monday in Spring Green on "Country Music and Politics."

Country singers back then "were socially conservative but not necessarily politically conservative," he said.

Today, country musicians are much more vocal in support of Republican candidates than Democrats, although liberals in Nashville have become more aggressive, Malone said. A new group called Music Row Democrats that includes Emmylou Harris, Pam Tillis and Rodney Crowell has been fund- raising for Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry.

"This is the first time I've known (Nashville Democrats) to work this hard," Malone said. "Usually they just give up."

Malone is the author of "Country Music, U.S.A," considered the definitive history of American country music. First published in 1968, it was reissued in a second revised edition in 2002.

A retired Tulane University professor, Malone has lived in Madison since 1996. At River Valley High School on Monday, Malone conducted a two-hour tour of country music's intersection with politics.

In early country music, it was impossible to find a consistent ideology, Malone said. To illustrate, he played "The Death of Mother Jones," a song recorded by Gene Autry in 1931 that expressed sadness at the passing of the radical labor leader. He also played "I'm No Communist," an anti- government screed sung by Grandpa Jones in the 1950s.

Lopsided partisanship entered the genre in the 1960s during the Vietnam War, Malone said. As rock artists took on the establishment, country artists protested the protesters.

Merle Haggard's "I'm Proud to be an Okie from Muskogee," with its line, "We don't burn our draft cards down on Main Street," convinced pundits everywhere that country was the musical voice of the Republican Party, Malone said.

That reputation persisted and gained new currency with songs such as Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the U.S.A." The latest batch of patriotic country songs since 9/11 is notable for its extreme jingoism and machismo, Malone said.

"A meanness has crept into this latest round," he said, citing the Charlie Daniels lyric, "This ain't no rag, it's a flag, and we don't wear it on our heads." The line has been criticized by American Muslims as a slam on their customs.

Malone's politics are squarely left of center. His guitar case bears a "Kerry/ Edwards" bumper sticker and he has penned an anti-Bush song, "The Talking George Bush Blues." Still, he said he has no problem buying the music of artists such as Daniels and Toby Keith as long as it's good music, regardless of the political stance.

Mark Grantin, program director for Madison's Q-106 FM, said his station's audience probably is divided more evenly between liberals and conservatives than elsewhere in the country. That was apparent when many stations banned Dixie Chicks music last year after lead singer Natalie Maines made an anti-Bush comment, he said.

Q-106 researched its listeners and found them split 50-50. The station continued to play the group's music.
"I know because it is impossible for a tape to hold the compression levels of these treble boosted MFSL's like Something/Anything. The metal particulate on the tape would shatter and all you'd hear is distortion if even that." - VD

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krabapple
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Postby krabapple » Thu Oct 21, 2004 6:35 pm

Was that "I love you, always forever" song from a few years back, sung by that gal with the fuck-me voice, considered 'country' by today's standards? I remember hearing htat incessantly in the gym and at supermarkets.
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Postby Ess Ay Cee Dee » Thu Oct 21, 2004 6:56 pm

nt
Last edited by Ess Ay Cee Dee on Sun May 01, 2005 11:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Beatlesfan03 » Thu Oct 21, 2004 10:20 pm

krabapple wrote:Was that "I love you, always forever" song from a few years back, sung by that gal with the fuck-me voice, considered 'country' by today's standards? I remember hearing htat incessantly in the gym and at supermarkets.


I think you're talking about Shania Twain there. That song is from her "Up" album which conveniently came with both the "red" and "green" editions of the album. I want to say that the red stands for pop and the green is for the more twangy pop-country version. The only reason I know this is because there was a thread on it over at SHTV.

For some of the more "fringe" (for lack of a better term) country artists that toe line of pop, the record companies put out two versions to not only broaden the artiste's profile but also not to alienate their hardcore, NASCAR loving fanbase as well. I notice that whenever Faith Hill puts out a record, the same thing happens although I think only the pop version is actually released to the stores. That Shania Twain disc is the only instance I know where both versions were made available.
Craig

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krabapple
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Postby krabapple » Fri Oct 22, 2004 1:21 am

Beatlesfan03 wrote:
krabapple wrote:Was that "I love you, always forever" song from a few years back, sung by that gal with the fuck-me voice, considered 'country' by today's standards? I remember hearing htat incessantly in the gym and at supermarkets.


I think you're talking about Shania Twain there. That song is from her "Up" album which conveniently came with both the "red" and "green" editions of the album.


Nope, I looked it up -- it's by something called 'Donna Lewis'. Whether that's an actual human or some sort of studio-created simulacrum, I can't say. The album is called 'Now in a Minute'.

Btw the only 'modern country' I've really listened to recently was Shelby Lynne, who completely kicks ass. She shared a 'Soundstage' episode with Liz Phair some months back, and made poor Liz look like a pathetic poseur.
"I recommend that you delete the Rancid Snakepit" - Grant