When going to the gym, I am forced to listen to this godawful Lexington country music station because, well, that's what they play. I even asked about it today, and they assured me they only received two channels. Both are country. Pick your poison.
[Note: while searching for the 98.1 website, I noticed that Sacramento also has a station called "the bull" and it's also at 98.1 and it just happens to be at kbul.com. Whoda thunk it? I'm glad we have fine companies like ClearChannel to make sure the country is as homogenous as possible.]
Of course, this station plays the same crap over and over and over. So every day I get to hear the same three songs that piss me off to no end.
Selection #1:
Tough Little Boys by Gary Allan
I never once, backed down from a punch.
I'd take it square on the chin.
Well I found out fast a bully's just that
And you got to stand up to him.
So I didn't cry when I got a black eye
As bad as it hurt I just grinned.
But when tough little boys grow up to be Dads
They turn into big babies again.
Scared me to death when took your first steps,
Well I'd fall everytime you fell down.
Your first day of school, I cried like a fool,
And I followed your school bus to town.
Well I didn't cry when ol Yeller died
At least not in front of my friends.
But when tough little boys grow up to be
Dads they turn into big babies again.
Well I'm a grown man but as strong as I am.
Well sometimes it's hard to believe,
One little girl with little blonde curls
Can totally terrify me.
If you were to ask my wife would just laugh ,
She'd say I know all about men.
How tough little boys grow up to be Dads
They turn into big babies again.
Well I know one day I'll give you away
And I'm gonna stand there and smile.
When I get home and I'm all alone,
I'll sit in your room for awhile.
Well I didn't cry when ol Yeller died
At least not in front of my friends.
But when tough little boys grow up to be
Dads they turn into big babies again.
When tough little boys grow up to be
Dads they turn into big babies again.
Refer to this horrible webpage for sound and animation, if you dare:
http://www.minibite.com/parenthood/toughlittleboys.htm
Selection #2:
Walk A Little Straighter Daddy by Billy Currington
I remember looking up
To look up to him
And I remember most the time
He wasn’t there
I’d be waiting at the door
When he got home at night
He’d pass me by to go to pass out in his chair
And I’d say
Walk a little straighter daddy
You’re swaying side to side
You’re footsteps make me dizzy
And no matter how I try
I keep tripping and stumbling
If you’d look down here you’d see
Walk a little straighter daddy
You’re leading me
He stumbled in the gym
On graduation day
And I couldn’t help but feel
So ashamed
And I wasn’t surprised a bit
When he didn’t stay
He stumbled out before they called my name
And I thought
Walk a little straighter daddy
You’re swaying side to side
It’s not just me who’s watching
you’ve caught everybody’s eye
And you’re tripping and stumbling
and even though I’ve turned 18
Walk a little straighter daddy
You’re still leading me
The old mans still like he always was
But I love him anyway
If I’ve learned one thing from him
Its my kids will never have to say
Walk a little straighter daddy
You’re swaying side to side
You’re footsteps make me dizzy
And no matter how I try
I keep tripping and stumbling
if you’d look down here you’d see
Walk a little straighter daddy
You’re leading me
Yeah walk a little straighter daddy
You’re leading me
http://www.minibite.com/serious/walk.htm
Selection #3:
It's 5 O'clock Somewhere by Alan Jackson with Jimmy Buffett
Alan sings:
The sun is hot and that old clock,
is movin' slow, and so am I.
Work day passes like molasses,
in winter time, but it's July.
Getting paid by the hour,
and older by the minute.
My boss just pushed me,
over the limit.
I could call him something,
think ~I'll just call it a day.~
Chorus:
Pour me something tall and strong.
Make it a hurricane,
before I go insane.
It's only half past twelve.
But I don't care,
it's five o'clock somewhere.
This lunch break is gonna take
all afternoon, half the night.
Tomorrow morning I know there'll be
h-e-l-l to pay, but hey that's all right.
I ain't had a day off now, in over a year.
My Jamaican vacation's gonna start right here.
If the phone's for me
you can tell them~ I just sailed away.~
Chorus:
Pour me something tall and strong.
Make it a hurricane,
before I go insane.
It's only half past twelve.
But I don't care,
it's five o'clock somewhere.
Instrumental...
I could pay off my tab, pour myself
in a cab, and be back to work before two.
At a moment like this, I can't help
but wonder, what would Jimmy Buffett do.
Jimmy sings:
Funny you should ask Alan, I'd say
Pour me something tall and strong.
Make it a hurricane,
before I go insane.
It's only half past twelve,
but I don't care.
Both sing;
Chorus;
Pour me something tall & strong
Make it a hurricane,
before I go insane.
It's only half past twelve,
but I don't care.
Alan sings;
but he don't care, I don't care.
Both sing;
It's five o'clock somewhere.
Dialog begins:
Jimmy: What time zone am I on? What country am I in?
Alan: It doesn't matter, it's five o'clock somewhere.
Jimmy: It's always on time for Margaritaville. Come to think of it.
Alan: I heard that.
Jimmy: You've been there haven't ya?
Alan: Yes sir!
Jimmy: I've seen your boat there.
Alan: I've been to Margaritaville a few times.
Jimmy: Alright, that's good.
Alan: Stumbled on my way back.
Jimmy: Okay, well I just want to make sure you keep it between the navigational beacons.
Alan: deep sultry laugh hahaha! Keep it between the bouys. I got it!
Jimmy: Alright, well it's five o'clock. Let's go somewhere.
Alan: I'm ready. Crank it up!
Jimmy: Let's get out of here.
Alan: I'm gone!
Now I ask:
Why do people listen to this shit?
BTW, I realize there may decent modern country artists out there. I don't know any. This is what's on the radio. I therefore assume it's popular. What's the explanation? Is the country 75% redneck or what? This crap is horrible.
Side note - on the drive to Lexington, I turned on 98.1 just to see if these songs would creep up again. Sure enough, when I turned the radio on, I got the Alan Jackson. Within two songs, I got "Tough Little Boys." Before I could even make it to downtown Lexington (around an hour), they played "Tough Little Boys" again. Great, I got to hear it 3x today.